Morning Meltdowns: Ways to Cope

He wakes up as mad as a bear. She refuses to brush her hair, can't find her shoes, and dawdles until you are frantic. Chaos, tears, and wrinkles in socks bring out the worst in everybody. Here are some ways to defuse the tantrums and avoid meltdowns.

Getting children out the door in the morning is quite possibly the hardest part of parenting for many parents of 3-10 year olds.If you are struggling, you are in very good company. Here are some tips. Share your own morning hacks in comments!

Tip #1 - Give yourself a little love.

Before you start the morning rush, take a deep breath and do one thing that is good for you. Drink a glass of water. Have a warm cup of coffee. Pray or meditate. Have a hot shower.

Tip #2 - Reframe

Kids are cranky in the mornings for a good reason. The journey from sleep to school is complicated process. Physically, after sleeping and going without food or water for 10-12 hours, some children may not have the brain capacity to remember, reason or reflect. Emotionally, some children may wake up anxious or fearful and feel needy and disconnected. After sleeping all night sensory systems are often either highly activated (sensory seeking) or highly sensitive to every stimulus (sensory avoidant).

Tip #3 - Lower your expectations

The main essential task for the child in the morning is to find her regulation. The main essential task for the parent in the morning is to be fully present in the moment with the child while they find it. Sometimes that means offering a drink of water, sticking them in a tub of warm water with a peanut butter sandwich in hand, and sometimes, it just means rocking in a rocking chair for a few minutes. Everything else is optional.

Tip #4 - Do everything you can the night before

Lunches, backpacks, set out the clothes, shoes, socks, hair bows .... Some kids even sleep in the clothes they will wear to school the next day. Whatever works, right?

Tip #5 - Make a simple routine and stick to it

Allow enough time so that you don't feel pressured. Make the routine very simple. Practice the routine, and make it a mantra that the kids can sing and memorize. Use a picture schedule to reinforce it. Bathroom, clothes, teeth, hair, breakfast-- whatever suits your family-- just keep it very basic. In the end, the best things can happen when you are able to stay open, accepting, and calm. Kids can ride to school in their pjs and get dressed in the car after they get to school sometimes. It's ok.

Tip #6 - Avoid screens

Screen free mornings for both parents and children mean that you will have more opportunity to connect, and your child will be primed for attention at school the rest of the day. It also avoids dealing with a screen to school transition which can make getting out the door harder.

You are NOT alone

If you are a combat ready morning mom, you are not alone. Everyday you get your child out the door calm and content, you've had a MAJOR WIN. You can give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourself and your kiddo on a major accomplishment! Leave a comment below and share your morning hacks and struggles. Or chat, email or schedule a visit....